A Motivational Book I would Recommend

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Flipping like a fish on a Line

I am intrigued to finish this book entitled ‘Emotional Agility’ by Susan David. I only finished three chapters and I felt so excited to share this. This book basically teaches us how to understand our emotion and how to align our feelings with the things we do.


Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life

I saw this list of situations stated in Susan’s book. How many have you ticked? When I came across this, I felt that someone just read my mind aloud.

  • Someone else succeeds: ‘I’m not good enough. Why wasn’t me?’
  • Working full-time: ‘My life’s a failure. Everything around me is a mess, and my children rent me for missing out on all the fun we could be having together.’
  • Performing a difficult task: ‘Why the hell is this taking so long? If I had any talent I’d be able to do it faster.’
  • A missed promotion: ‘I’m an idiot and a wuss. I let myself get cheated.’
  • Being asked to do something new: ‘I’m terrified. This is never going to work.’
  • A social engagement: ‘I’m going to freeze up and everyone’s going to think I was raised in a cave.’
  • Receiving negative feedback: ‘I’m going to get fired.’
  • Meeting up with old friends: ‘I’m a loser. They’re all living way more exciting lives than I am. And making more money!’
  • Trying to lose weight: ‘I’m a disgusting pig. I should just give up. Everyone in the room looks better than me.’

Extracted from “Emotional Agility by Susan David”

What do people think of ‘me’?

There are so many occasions that we care about what other people think about us. We care so much about their views to the extent we’re willing to give up what we initially love.
I used to work in a law firm. I was enthusiastic to contribute an article but soon it was being amended to a version doesn’t reflect my thoughts.  It didn’t take me very long to build doubts in me. It struck my confidence and soon I started to doubt myself. ‘Am I good in writing?’ I became unhappy.
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It’s not a rocket Science to understand that confidence shouldn’t come from external parties. However, it’s hard to implement such theory in our daily life. We love compliments from the others but sometimes we are often the ones forget to give one. It’s important to strengthen the confidence within ourselves. What I learnt throughout my working life is that put less focus on nasty comments and focus more on your ultimate goal of doing something.

Constructive Feedback and Destructive Criticism

There is always a thin line between ‘constructive feedback’ and ‘destructive criticism’. The truth is, most of the time, we are the ones that turn a constructive feedback to a destructive criticism. We illustrate what people think or mean. Sometimes, these illustrations might not even true.

Perhaps, it was true that I couldn’t write a perfect law article according to a small group of people. However, ‘not doing great’ doesn’t mean that I should ‘stop doing’. In fact, I should keep doing it until I am better. I love writing. That’s also one reason why I started this blog.

Soon I realize that constructive feedback motives us. It’s meant to tackle the core issues. Destructive criticism attacks the mind and hurts the soul. It doesn’t help to find the solutions.

A Mixture of Lovers and Haters

There is always a mixture of lovers and haters in this world. We often stumbled upon the view of a small group of people before we could present our ideas to a bigger audience.

We do not need everyone to be on our side to start something. Obama didn’t have everyone’s vote to become the president. Obama defeated Romney with 332 electoral votes to Romney’s 206.

One thing I keep reminding myself, if I want someone to love my work, I need to love it first. I can’t be one of the haters to my own goal.

It’s Easier to Give Up

Have you shared your dream or goal with someone before? I believe most of us do.

Do you remember how many smirks that you get when you told them your ideas? I always amazed by how quickly one person gives me that look of disbelief. Why should I give up my dream just because of the disapproval from one or two people?

Before I started this blog, someone threw me so many questions which I could drown. ‘There are so many blogs out there, like more than millions. What makes you think you will stand out?’

‘What makes you think people will want to spend time reading your articles?’

‘There are so many professional photographers take nicer and cooler pictures than you. What makes you think your blog will stand out?’

What? Wait a minute.

Yes. I know those issues and unfortunately, I do not have the answer. However, I am eager to find out ‘how’. I always believe that we should open up to listen to others’ opinion. Then, filter the opinions so that they do not dilute our passion and motivation.

Well, what I wrote here is purely just my thought. Hope you feel better if you had felt sad after getting some criticisms.

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1 Comment

  1. Jacky says:

    Beautifully written Lexinder. I know you from a long time ago, probably 10 years ago, and you have improved leaps and bounds since we last met. Good job and keep up the good work. Sending over blessings and good vibes. Cheers.

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